The Heart Behind Whispers in the Chaos

Hi, I’m Rachel! I’m a wife, a mom, a friend, and someone who very much does not have it all together. But I’m learning to hear Jesus in the midst of it all, and I’d love to bring you along with me.

Whispers in the Chaos: Returning to Jesus Again and Again and Again came to me one night as I was staring at the cover of another book. In 2025, I felt like God placed a dream on my heart to write a book one day and I’ve been dreaming (and praying) into this since. That night, I asked the Lord what my book might be called and this name came to mind. I was hesitant at first, but wrote it in a journal and went to bed. A few days later, I shared it with my husband and a few friends and felt really excited about it!

Writing a book sounds incredibly intimidating, but a blog feels like a good stepping stone. I’m viewing this space as an opportunity to grow in my writing skills, to find my voice, and to get my thoughts out there, in real time!

The Name

For the longest time, my husband has said something along these lines: “Rach, you’re seeing everyone else’s highlight reel and comparing it to your behind-the-scenes.”

Anyone else relate to that?

I think it’s so easy to step into a space—to see others—and to feel like they have it all together. I want women to know that embarrassing, challenging, difficult stuff happens to everyone and it’s easier to carry in community. I want to give the gift of going first so others can feel more confident. 

I’ll go first.

I’ll tell the embarrassing thing.

I’ll admit where I’m struggling.

And maybe, because I went first, you won’t feel quite so alone.

Why I Write

I always wake up with good intentions. Or, rather, I go to bed with good intentions.. “Tomorrow I’ll wake up early, go for a walk and just be with Jesus, read my Bible, take a shower and be ready for the day before it’s time to get my kids up. I’ll be more patient, spend less time on my phone, really engage with people, be more thoughtful in my answers, I won’t lose my temper..”

And then it’s somehow already time to wake up and I don’t want to put my shoes on and walk up the big hill to campus. I want to spend my day reading a book, scrolling my phone, doing literally anything else but what I have been called to do in this season.

I snap at my kids, feel bitter towards others, and struggle with feelings of entitlement. I find myself thinking that everything revolves around me and that people are often out to get me. (Woof, that makes me sound like a real treat to be around..)

But, in spite of it all, I continue to return to Jesus—repenting and asking Him to keep doing the work He has started in me. Thanking Him for not giving up on me. I continue to ask Him to search me and know me.. to know my thoughts and see if there is any wickedness in me (Psalm 139:23-24). And I will trust that in my returning, He will always be there.

With open arms.

Returning