Hi, I’m Rachel. I’m a wife, a mom, a friend, and a woman who very much does not have it all together… but I’m learning to hear Jesus in the middle of the noise, and I’d love for you to come along for the journey.
COME AND SIT FOR A WHILE
Whispers in the Chaos: Returning to Jesus Again and Again came to me one night as I was staring at the cover of another book. In 2025, I felt like God placed a dream on my heart to write a book one day… not even just a dream, but a statement: “You will write a book one day.” I’ve been dreaming and praying into this since; that night, I asked the Lord what my book might be called and this name came to mind. I was hesitant at first, but wrote it in a journal and went to bed. A few days later, I shared it with my husband and a few friends and felt really excited about it!
I’ve been intimidated by the whole “writing a book” thing, so a blog feels like a good stepping stone. I’m viewing this space as an opportunity to grow in my writing skills, to find my voice, to reach some people now, and to get my thoughts out there, in real time!
The Name
For the longest time my husband has said something along these lines: “Rach, you’re seeing everyone’s highlight reel and comparing it to your behind-the-scenes.”
Anyone else relate to that?
I think it’s so easy to step into a space, to see other women, and feel like they have it all together. I want women to know that embarrassing, challenging, difficult stuff happens to everyone and it’s easier to carry in community. I want to give the gift of going first so others can feel more confident.
I’ll tell the embarrassing thing.
I’ll admit where I’m struggling.
I’ll say the thing we’re all sometimes afraid to say.
And maybe, because I went first, you won’t feel quite so alone.
Why I Write
This is the story of my life! I always wake up with good intentions. Or, rather, I go to bed with good intentions… “Tomorrow I’ll wake up early, go for a walk and just be with Jesus, read my Bible, take a shower and be ready for the day before it’s time to get my kids up. I’ll be more patient, spend less time on my phone, really engage with them, be more thoughtful in my answers, I won’t lose my temper...”
And then it’s somehow already time to wake up and I don’t want to put my shoes on and walk up the big hill to campus. I want to spend my day reading a book, scrolling my phone, doing literally anything else than get on the floor and play trains or color or get more snacks.
I snap at my kids because they continue to ask me the same questions… they continue to demand my attention when all I want to do is something for myself. I can feel bitterness toward my husband, who gets to go away to his job all day. I can find myself resentful when he comes home wanting to go do something for himself, not realizing that he has also had a full day of work. I find myself thinking that everything revolves around me and that people are often out to get me.
But, in spite of it all, I continue to return to Jesus—repenting and asking Him to keep doing the work He has started in me. Thanking Him for not giving up on me. This can often look like breath prayers in the hard moments. Other times, it’s actually sitting down to journal my thoughts out to the Lord. I continue to ask Him to search me and to know me… to know my thoughts and see if there is any wickedness in me (Psalm 139:23-24). And I will trust that in my returning, He will always be there.
With open arms.
Returning
If you’re here because you feel like it’s just you, same.
Let’s be in the awkward, hard, messiness together, friend.
